Twitter Shenanigans – #BadECMSlogans

Looks like this blog is transforming into an archive of snarky #ECM hashtags on twitter, but I guess it could be worse…   …I could still be trying to write real blog posts.  *sigh*

As with the last one of these, I’ve removed retweets, meta-comments about the meme, etc. Also, the twitter search APIs totally suck at giving the same results twice, so if you notice tweets missing from this list, please let me know (@pmonks) and I’ll happily add them in.

Who / When What Editorial Comment by Moi
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 15:09:48
Not sure about #ECM, why don’t you #mullet over. #BadECMSlogans +6.022E23 points for raising the tone of the conversation by introducing the ultimate hairstyle.
@pmonks
2012-03-30 15:02:50
We don’t really have a solution for you, but we know @piewords. #BadECMSlogans
@jedpc
2012-03-30 15:00:44
SharePoint it’s an ECMS, honest….. #BadECMSlogans
@bduhon
2012-03-30 14:06:23
#ECM: Attempting to solve the same problem as microfilm for 20 years. #BadECMSlogans
@CherylMcKinnon
2012-03-30 14:06:14
Met my quarterly KPI by turning @piewords into a leading provider of #BadECMSlogans Aha! So we discovered the true source of this meme! I always thought @piewords was a mere #ECMCoven puppet. Or is he a muppet?
@piewords
2012-03-30 13:54:31
We are like Buck Rodgers. Give us your Content & you won’t find it for 500 years #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 13:50:53
#ECM – because your content will be even more important to future generations as it is to you! #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 13:49:55
#ECM You’ll check out before your content does. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 13:46:34
Content Mgmt, Content checks in but it can’t check out #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 13:44:54
We have extensive support for inbound content migration! <fineprint>But don’t support outbound migration at all.</fineprint> #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 13:38:37
Yes, we’ve failed in the past, but you still have a Content problem & we still want to make money #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@danieloleary
2012-03-30 13:32:29
Spend 85% of your IT budget on maintenance, get a new version every 5 years #badecmslogans #ecm
@proops
2012-03-30 13:21:41
#BadECMSlogans we IDOLize your content
@proops
2012-03-30 13:17:53
#BadECMSlogans positive file-osophy
@piewords
2012-03-30 13:14:35
Afraid of the future? Content Mgmt will help you stay focused on the past #BadECMSlogans #ECM Highly commended!
@proops
2012-03-30 12:55:45
in summary #BadECMSlogans from vendors: meaning based fusion making better decisions faster
@andrewtilbury
2012-03-30 12:51:16
#BadECMSlogans #ECM Something something STREAMLINE, something something PRODUCTIVITY, something something EASY TO INTEGRATE…
@proops
2012-03-30 12:51:04
you can find all the #BadECMSlogans you want just by visiting the vendors’ sites True, but it’s more fun to try to guess what the vendors are going to say next.
@piewords
2012-03-30 12:50:51
We’ll help you disguise your business problems as technology problems #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 12:49:32
Our product will streamline your inorganic process, enabling knowledge workers to optimize to a new emergent level #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 12:44:10
Capturing your dollars as well as your content. #BadECMSlogans #ECM Highly commended!
@piewords
2012-03-30 12:40:25
You’ll like us so much that you’ll be asking for our Search product next #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 12:38:08
4/5 Analysts think we rock #BadECMSlogans #ECM A very close second favourite!
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 12:37:36
#ECM – When #CRM, #BPM, #ERP just aren’t enough. #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 12:32:27
Because we’re an innovative, visionary, leading, collaborator in Fartner’s Tragic Quadrant. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon
2012-03-30 12:25:53
No, you don’t need a taxonomy, our search module will take care of that #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 12:16:38
#ECM – It’s like having your very own Ollie North. #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks
2012-03-30 12:04:17
Without #ECM @piewords & @pmonks wouldn’t have met, fallen in love, started a family (@ljseverson, @danieloleary)! #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks
2012-03-30 12:02:36
“@piewords: Store now, find later, much later, if at all #BadECMSlogans #ECM” < fixed
@piewords
2012-03-30 12:00:49
Store now, find later, much later #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 11:59:55
Just Scan It! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:58:18
#ECM – at least we don’t chop down forests or spill oil in the ocean! #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:55:09
Social #ECM – where "social" means "Stockholm Syndrome". #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:45:07
Mobile #ECM – not finding your content no matter where you are. #BadECMSlogans
@bduhon
2012-03-30 11:42:42
#ECM: Keeping @piewords off the streets since 1997 #badecmslogans Would be good if I hadn’t heard a rumour about one @piewords roaming the streets of the Mission District of San Francisco at a very late hour last Thursday…
@piewords
2012-03-30 11:41:04
Their product may work better, but soon they’ll be bought by us & we’ll fix that #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@andrewg95
2012-03-30 11:38:04
ECM is a domain-specific technology for generating complicated tabbed-dialog boxes when saving documents. #BadECMSlogans
@LFMeghann
2012-03-30 11:37:39
ECM: So easy even an end user could use it! #BadECMSlogans Highly commended!
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:37:12
It’s just like Ex Lax. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:35:25
Let’s you focus on *your* core business. If your core business is funding endless projects. #BadECMSlogans #ECM Highly commended!
@andrewg95
2012-03-30 11:33:37
If you think Content is complex, wait’ll you get a load of our Management #BadECMSlogans #ECM My personal favourite! @andrewg95 wins a night out with me next time he’s in San Francisco!
@AlistairPugin
2012-03-30 11:28:50
We can integrate into you backend systems seamlessly and surface your data #badecmslogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:27:23
I shot the sheriff. But they lost the photographic evidence. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:26:35
RT @bduhon: #ECM: Oh, yeah. We take care of moving that out of box #badecmslogans < fixed
@bduhon
2012-03-30 11:26:05
#ECM: Oh, yeah. We take care of that out of the box #badecmslogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:26:01
If we knew what we were doing, do you think we’d be doing this? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:24:14
This is your content. This is your content on drugs. Any questions? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon
2012-03-30 11:24:10
Automating your content and business processes for efficiency and ROI #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:23:56
#ECM – an excuse for balding, overweight middle-aged folks to meet up at conferences and lie about their glorious past. #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:22:53
#ECM – it’s like having your very own TLA generator. #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:22:04
"RT @juergmeier: @pmonks "#ECM: now we have a new term that keeps us busy the next 10 years" #aiim conference, 1998" #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:19:55
@piewords Like drugs? Try implementing #ECM and get hooked. #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:18:30
#ECM – because if you don’t, it’ll be your arse on the line when the auditors come knocking. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 11:18:09
Like beer? Buy Content Mgmt & have a reason to drink for the rest of your life #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:17:38
Cloud Content Management – ’cause we can’t be bothered either. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:15:29
Nothing kickstarts the career of a professional poker player better than an #ECM sales job! Apply today! #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 11:15:05
Content Mgmt, paying for my kids college fund since 1997 #BadECMSlogans #ECM Trust @piewords to state the unadulterated truth.
@piewords
2012-03-30 11:14:10
Content Mgmt, tricking companies into acquisitions for 20 years #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:14:01
#ECM – encouraging content silos so that your kids can experience what you experienced. #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:13:35
Why should lawyers make all the money? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:12:33
If it’s in there we’ll find it. Trust us. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 11:10:48
Yeah, we can’t solve Content Mgmt, but neither can they #BadECMSlogans #ECM #truth
@bduhon
2012-03-30 11:08:02
#ECM: It’s in there #badecmslogans
@rcromero
2012-03-30 11:07:41
EMC – Content Mgmt never was so fun! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@DAntion
2012-03-30 11:07:20
#ECM in the #Cloud: Because otherwise I’d have to document SharePoint #badecmslogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 11:06:17
Content Mgmt, so easy, even @pmonks can do it! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:05:08
#ECM – providing employment to 50-something, balding, overweight, under motivated sales folk since 1990. #BadECMSlogans
@bduhon
2012-03-30 11:04:02
#ECM in the #Cloud: when you can’t be bothered to do it yourself #badecmslogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 11:03:51
It’s a beautiful interface. Why would I lie? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 11:01:36
We’re Midol for your ESI. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 11:00:51
Fixed RT @pmonks #ECM – trivializing web content management since 1995. #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks
2012-03-30 11:00:04
#ECM – ignoring web content management since 1995. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:59:22
Keeping the myth of DoD 5015.2 compliance alive since 1998 #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 10:59:05
It’s not like Sharepoint, it *is* Sharepoint. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:58:14
#ECM – because it’s hard to make money selling filesystems. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:57:16
Because Sanity is over-rated #BadECMSlogans #ECM #jackscale
@ron_miller
2012-03-30 10:55:00
At its heart, it’s really just a database. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@DAntion
2012-03-30 10:54:34
Cookies are content, calories are information, body fat is experience #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 10:54:07
#ECM The difference between plagiarism and content reuse. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:53:40
Solving new problems w/ the same tech for 20 years #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:53:05
Cloud content management – no we didn’t know your content was stored in North Korea either. The things you learn! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:52:20
Content Mgmt in the cloud, now you can blame someone else for lost content #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:52:06
#ECM – no one hides 1990-era technology behind 1995-era UIs better than us! #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:50:43
#ECM – no we don’t know what it means either, but trust us – you need it worse than an emergency root canal! #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 10:50:25
If we can’t find, *they* can’t find it. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon
2012-03-30 10:49:16
Clear skies: #ECM in the #cloud #badecmslogans
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 10:48:50
Like a high colonic for your Enterprise Information. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon
2012-03-30 10:48:03
#ECM: Because ALL of the new buzzwords are bullshit #badecmslogans Ooh! A personal attack on @sliewehr – I LIKE!!1!
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:46:38
Adaptive Case Management, because we already sold you Info Mgmt and Content Mgmt #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:45:46
#ECM – because we just got the memo that Microfische is no longer cool. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:43:22
Better than a shared drive #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:41:32
Info Mgmt, because we already sold you Content Mgmt #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 10:41:30
Our solution, your problem. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@Dyldebeest
2012-03-30 10:38:20
@chris_p_walker Keep Your Content Content #BadECMSlogans
@ldallasBMOC
2012-03-30 10:38:16
Content Mgmt, Replacing the problems you thought you solved already #BadECMSlogans #ECM"
@chris_p_walker
2012-03-30 10:37:16
#ECM Putting the CON in Content. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:36:18
Content Mgmt, because job security is so hard to find #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ldallasBMOC
2012-03-30 10:35:21
Content Mgmt, like you’ve got something better to do #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:34:59
Content Mgmt Systems, because something has to make Ferraris look cheap #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:34:18
ECM – bringing all the fun & efficiency of paper handling to the computer! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:33:19
"ECM" #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:31:07
"RT @justincormack: @pmonks content strategy is measured by purchases on @getshitter" < #BadECMSlogans getshitter.com is a real business btw – I know what I’m asking for for my next birthday!!
@ron_miller
2012-03-30 10:28:42
If it were easy to use, what would you need us for? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ron_miller
2012-03-30 10:28:02
Abandon hope all who save your content here. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@motdiem
2012-03-30 10:27:26
#BadECMSlogans replace paperwork with contentwork
@fmiddleton
2012-03-30 10:27:04
The Megamillions Jackpot will almost cover the costs of a new ECM system #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:24:59
Because if you save enough Content, nobody will ever be able to find the evidence #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:24:58
#ECM – because your 26 existing content management systems aren’t enough. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:24:02
Content Mgmt, because sometimes the 3rd time is the charm #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:23:42
Content Management – it’s easier to let your employees use Box, then set aside sufficient funds for future settlements. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@motdiem
2012-03-30 10:22:59
#BadECMSlogans towards a Content Free Office
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:22:36
Content Mgmt, overwhelming eDiscovery lawyers since 1997 #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@fmiddleton
2012-03-30 10:22:17
An ECM system is what you *finally* get approval to buy five minutes after the lawyers call the CEO #BadECMSlogans #ECM Highly commended!
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:22:02
Do you like paper cuts? Does removing staples from 42,135,772 stacks of papers sound like fun? Join an #ECM consultancy now! #BadECMSlogans
@motdiem
2012-03-30 10:21:29
#BadECMSlogans in soviet CMS, Contents own you
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:19:46
Drinking too much coffee? Our #CMS will keep you awake #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@fmiddleton
2012-03-30 10:19:22
Content isn’t like a box of chocolates, unless you’re still using 3×5 index cards #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon
2012-03-30 10:17:56
Our #CMS platform: it’ll manage info that would make a billy goat puke #BadECMSlogans #ecm
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:16:31
This is your father’s Content Mgmt System #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ron_miller
2012-03-30 10:15:20
It’s what we like to call the content black hole. #BadECMSlogas #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:14:26
Content Declared. The New Content Mgmt #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon
2012-03-30 10:14:03
Making You Content With Your Content RT @piewords: Need @bduhon to help w/ #BadECMSlogans
@ron_miller
2012-03-30 10:13:14
You want it useable or you want it on budget? #BadECMSlogas #ECM
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:13:05
Content Management: boring as batshit but who likes being sued and losing because they don’t have the paperwork? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ron_miller
2012-03-30 10:12:32
Where content goes to die. #BadECMSlogas #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:12:06
This is Content Mgmt and This is What We Do #BadECMSlogas #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:11:02
It’s The End of Content as You Know It #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ron_miller
2012-03-30 10:09:33
Once your your content’s gone, it can never come back. #BadECMSlogans #ECM (apologies to Neil Young)
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:08:53
Simple, Secure, Sharing from Anywhere #contradiction #BadECMSlogans #ECM Copied verbatim from botox.net (@piewords objected).
@pmonks
2012-03-30 10:08:03
Content Management Platform for Business Applications #BadECMSlogans #ECM Ditto (but from Nutseo).
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:07:11
All your Content are belong to us. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords
2012-03-30 10:04:53
If you had effective Content Mgmt, you’d be done w/ your weekly work by now. #BadECMSlogans #ECM The post that kicked it all off.

PS. The code I use to get tweets out of Twitter is available as a gist.

Published in: on 2012-03-30 at 4:25 pm  Leave a Comment  
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